Calamar's Rants: Allison's Miracle (2023)

Warning: This is the true story of a miracle named Allison. This story deals with rape, attempted murder, and one woman's struggle to survive. This is the miracle of Allison, a woman with more strength and courage in the face of adversity than anyone I have ever heard of. Her story will disturb and inspire you.

Calamar's Rants: Allison's Miracle (1)A surge of cold into her lungs.


She is alive.

But outside now.

On the sand.

On the broken glass.

And there is an arm.

Moving above her face.

Left and right.

Left and right.

His movements are making a sound.

A wet sound.

The sound of her flesh being slashed open.

He's cutting her throat with the knife. Again and again and again.

It feels unreal as she watches droplets of her blood flung into the night. But it isn't. She feels no pain, but this is not a dream. This is happening. The man is slashing her throat.

The fear and the horror wrench through every nerve in her body. But she is completely aware.

The man moves away. She hears their voices drifting further from her, and she turns onto her front.

There is a strange rasping sound.

She realizes that it's emanating from her throat.

It seems so incredibly loud in the stillness of the night, and she tries to make it stop, afraid that they will hear her. But her breathing is no longer controllable. So she tries to close the opening with her hand. Her fingers just sink away inside.

They are speaking in Afrikaans, their voices floating towards her.

"Do you think she's dead?"

"No one can survive that."

She remains perfectly still, even when she feels something plop onto her back. The car's engine stutters into life, and slowly goes away.

She is alone. She is dying. And no one will find her here. Not in time to save her life.

She will at least tell who did this to her. She writes their first names in the sand. And "I love mom" beneath it.

And then she's drifting up, floating some ten feet above the woman in the dirt. She looks down at her body, feeling peace and a "benevolence". She realizes that she can choose: she can drift away, or she can go back and fight to live.

She wants to float —it's so peaceful and there is no fear— but there is so much that she still wants to do, so much that she still wants to live.

She sees headlights through the foliage, a car on the road, and then she's back inside her body. In her attempt to get up, she feels a wetness in her stomach. Her intestines are outside her. She tries to gather them, to put them back inside, but they're slimy and she struggles to keep them in her hold. The sheer amount of her innards bewilders her—the adult small intestine, after all, is about 23 feet long. In the end she realizes it cannot be done. Next to her is the piece of material that one of the men threw onto her back earlier. It's her denim shirt and she packs her innards inside it, pulling it close against her.

Now it's time to move. She crawls, struggling through dirt and broken glass, her one hand holding the shirt. With each successive movement she becomes increasingly tired.

At some point she collapses onto the sand, exhausted. She remembers the peace, and longs for it. But then the thought of her mother enters her mind, and she can't surrender. The trail of blood will tell the story of her struggle, and she cannot bear to have her mother know that she suffered.

So she pushes herself up again. But crawling won't suffice. It takes too long, and time and stamina are both precious. She has to get to her feet.

It takes almost everything she has, and just when she accomplishes it, she's drenched in blackness.

Quoted from I Have A Life.


December 18, 1994. The day was barely an hour old, and there was no reason to think that it would not be just another day like any other. And yet something terrible was about to happen in the city of Port Elizabeth, South Africa. Interestingly, later on this same day, the man police believed to be the Cleveland serial killer, David Selepe, would be shot dead while pointing out a crime scene near Johannesburg.

It was not going to be a good day.

Alison, a 27-year-old insurance broker, returned to her flat a little after 1:00 a.m. on this Sunday morning. She had spent most of the Saturday with friends, and had just dropped one of them off at her home.

Parking her car in the street outside her flat, she switched off the engine and turned off the lights. The door next to her opened, and before she could complete the turn of her head, a knife was pressing against the delicate skin of her throat.

"Move over or I'll kill you," the man holding the blade said.

The world felt unreal as she got onto the passenger seat. The man climbed in and started the engine. As he pulled away, she contemplated jumping from the vehicle, but the fear and the unexpectedness of the situation had left her incapacitated.

"Don't worry, I don't want to hurt you. I just want to use your car for an hour," the man told her.
As is common in such situations, Alison found it difficult to believe that she was really being abducted at knifepoint. How could this actually be happening?

"What's your name?" he asked as if this was a normal, everyday scene.

"Susan," she said, not wanting to give her real name. "And yours?"


A while later she asked him to take the car and let her go. He replied that he wanted the company, and that he was looking for a "friend who stole my TV".

Despite feeling powerless and vulnerable, Alison told herself that the best way to survive was to remain calm and rational.

Eventually, they came to a nightclub, called Club Tonite. There were people, but Alison did not feel hopeful or even comforted by their presence. Instead, she felt that they were part of the world in which the man beside her walked. He was looking at the people, searching, and getting irritated. He swore and steered into an alley, at length emerging in the opposite lane of the street they had been in.

The search continued for some time, but at last the object was found. A man dressed in black emerged from the crowd and got into the car.

"Meet my friend Susan," the man said, and to Alison, "This is Theuns." ("Theuns" is an Afrikaans name, pronounced like "tear", as in crying, but ending with the "nce" of "dance" instead of an "r".)

They drove off. As they stopped somewhere at a traffic light, Alison looked at the occupants of another car. She wished she could give them some kind of signal, but they didn't take notice of this just-another-car. Here she was being abducted and anyone would only see two guys and a girl heading to some destination.

They were on Marine Drive, following the road past Humewood, Happy Valley and Summerstrand. They crossed the outcropping of land which is the Cape Recife Nature Reserve. And headed towards Skoenmakerskop.

Inside the car there was silence. Theuns smoked. Clinton watched the road. Alison wrestled with her fear.

The road was dark and there were no more cars.

At some point Clinton slowed down and pulled off, into a small clearing. The wheels bit into the sand and the car was stuck. Alison became panicked as the wheels churned fruitlessly, thinking that they would use her body to provide the tires with the necessary grip to free the car. But the vehicle found something and they struggled their way into the clearing.

The place was dirty with ash from old barbeque fires, broken bottles, discarded beer cans, and various other pieces of litter.

Clinton turned off the engine and there was utter silence.

Then Theuns got out and walked some distance away.

Suffocating in the black silence, Alison spoke, hiding the fear from her voicebox. "Now what?"
Clinton turned to her, looking somewhat dumbfounded.

"But I thought you would have realized we want sex."

Left for Dead

So they wanted to rape her. That's what this was all about.

"Are you going to fight?" he asked.

Alison played the scenario out behind her eyes. She could not see herself winning a physical altercation in this situation. She also believed they would not harm her otherwise if she complied.
"No," she said at last.

It might seem strange that a woman would relent so "easily," and not at least try to protect herself. A district surgeon, Dr Werner Viljoen, who examines many rape survivors, told me that (unless alcohol is involved) in most of his cases there are few signs of physical violence having been done to the women. He speculates that South African women, living in a country where sexual violence is rife, have learnt that fighting won't prevent the rape but rather result in them ending up dead. They'd rather relent and live than fight and die.

Ellen Bassuk quotes a further explanation by M. Symonds: "Not only do people submit, but psychological infantilism that occurs with its consequent helplessness makes it appear to the outsider that their behavior was friendly and cooperative. It is a response of frozen fright that confuses everyone."

"Take off your clothes."

She did.

Clinton grabbed her head and shoved her face into his lap, ordering her to fellate him. Alison felt dazed, only thinking that she should not throw up. But he was violent and she gagged.

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"If you bite me, I'll kill you," he said, the knife against her head.

Alison decided that she would hide away her emotion, refusing to give them the satisfaction of seeing how she felt.

He pulled her head away and got between her legs with his mouth.

"Does your boyfriend do this to you? Do you like it?"

He moved up to her breast, leaving a blemish at which he smiled, and finally stuck his tongue inside her mouth. The foul taste of nicotine invaded her.

"You have the nicest tasting fanny."

And then he raped her. She did not want to touch him and pushed her hands against the ceiling of the car. Over his shoulder, she could see Theuns watching.

Ali, he's doing this to your body but not to you, he
can't touch you
, she told herself.

When he finished, he sat back in the driver's seat.

Later he called out to Theuns, asking, "Do you also want to have sex with this lovely lady?"
Theuns replied in crude Afrikaans what he intended to do.

"Don't speak to her like that, she's a lady," Clinton said.

Theuns walked around to the passenger door and opened it. He kissed her. Although he was only semi-erect, he shoved himself inside her anyway.

But only for a while. Then he withdrew, saying, "No, I can't do this." He slammed the door and sat on the car's bonnet. From one of his pockets, he pulled a hunting knife with a blade of about 8 inches.

The knife frightened her, and she felt even more vulnerable being naked. She asked Clinton whether she could put her clothes back on, and, receiving no reply, she started to dress.

Theuns became restless and called his friend's name, "Frans." ("Frans" is an Afrikaans name, pronounced like the British say "France".) Alison stored this information.

They proceeded to discuss what to do with her. One option was to leave her naked. Then one asked, "What do you think Oom Nick would want us to do with her, hey?" ("Oom Nick" is an Afrikaans version of "Old Nick", literally meaning "Uncle Nick", a euphemistic name for the devil.)

"I think he wants us to kill her."

Alison did not think they were serious. She thought they were trying to scare her.
"Take off your clothes," Frans said again.

Although she felt a sinking sensation, Alison also saw a glimmer of hope. Perhaps they have decided to leave her here naked then, and go.

Again she undressed, leaving only her sandals, which she would need for the walk back to the city. Frans also ordered her to take off her rings, which he redistributed to Theuns.

Alison was quite sure she would be freed now. She blinked her eyes. And Frans was on top of her, his hands around her neck, his fingers sinking into her vulnerable flesh. His face were almost touching hers, his cold eyes two voids trying to suck in hers.

"Please don't kill me," she whispered.

"Sorry," he replied.

Alison felt her bowels evacuating, and then everything faded to black.

Fighting to Live

"I had always believed that nothing happened to anyone who didn't have the capacity to overcome it."

Everything was black, but she was still conscious. And she was still standing, although unsteadily. Then she realized what was going on.

Her head had fallen over backwards. With probably all the major muscles on the front side of her neck severed, there was nothing to keep her head upright.

Alison used her free hand—the one not holding her intestines—to pull her head forward, and her vision returned. At least temporarily. As she struggled forward, her sight would fade in and out. She fell many times, but somehow managed to get up again.

At last, after what felt like an eternity, she saw the road. Somehow, she had managed to get there. She was exhilarated.

Lying down next to Marine Drive would do no good. The first driver to come along needed to see her. She was close to a curve and had to lurch further to a safer spot. And then, finally, she could lie down and let her drained body rest. Lying across the center of the road, it would be impossible for anyone not to see her.

Now she had to wait. And pray that someone would come along this silent stretch of tar.
Eventually, someone did. The car stopped, its lights washing over her. But no door opened. Alison stuck up her hand and waved. Nothing. For a moment she thought that it was Frans and Theuns who had returned to kill her. But then the car moved around her and drove off.
"Elation" turned to "panic," flowed into "sadness," and settled into "loneliness."

"Don't close your eyes."

While she was still speculating that it might have been a woman who was frightened to get out, sound erupted around her. There were cars stopping, doors opening, people talking and shouting. A woman screamed.

And then a man knelt down beside her, gently taking her hand. He was young, but spoke calmly. When she tried to respond, there was no sound. He told her to relax.

Although Alison didn't know this at the time, an hour and a half had passed since Frans had entered her car. It was 2:45 a.m.

"We are never given more than we can bear. It was up to me now to have faith in my own power and believe that this would not set me back or change my life."


The man holding her hand was Tiaan Eilerd, a 20-year-old veterinary student. He had been heading back with his friends to their camping ground on the last night of their holiday. What he saw was blood, lots of thickish blood on the road, and a naked girl covered in dirt. He saw that her eyes were open, if swollen and bloodshot, and that she was looking at him with awareness. And then he saw the maw in her throat and "everything inside it, the veins, the muscles and the severed windpipe."

"You're going to be all right. Don't worry. You are not
going to die on this road. I won't let you."

While a friend called an ambulance on his cellular phone, Tiaan checked her heart rate, which was quite weak, and her tongue, which was pale. Her skin was also cold and it was obvious that she had lost a lot of blood. There was something protruding from the gash and he pushed it back inside, after which he used his shirt to apply some pressure to the wound.

Tiaan knew that it was crucial to keep her awake, for if she drifted off, she might never open her eyes again. So he talked to her, reminding her to breathe slowly.

His calm presence had the same effect on Alison, but she wanted him to know about her abdominal injury. He responded to her gestures and lifted the shirt.

What he saw jolted and horrified him. Although he did not show his reaction when he looked back at her face, he was now even more concerned that the ambulance was taking so long. At least another driver happened on the scene and brought a blanket, with which Tiaan covered her.
Meanwhile, he was continuing to talk to her. "You're going to be all right. Don't worry. You are not going to die on this road. I won't let you." He told her to squeeze his hand once for "yes" and twice for "no", and thus they managed to determine details about the attack.

Alison was getting increasingly tired, wanting to rest. But Tiaan kept her awake. At one point he told her that she had "the most beautiful green eyes" and she thanked him with "an amazing smile". It broke his heart that she was being so brave and the ambulance wasn't coming. More than an hour had already passed.

Still on he talked. Although she wanted to keep her eyes open for him, Alison would close them each time he looked away. He wouldn't let her get away with it, though, and reminded her constantly: "Don't close your eyes."

Finally, one hour and 45 minutes and four phone calls after he had first taken her hand in his, the ambulance arrived.

Tiaan got in with her, still holding her hand, still talking to her, all the way to the Casualty Unit of the Provincial Hospital. She was wheeled in and he told her that he would be waiting for her when she woke up after surgery.

Although the anesthetist, Dr. Comyn, voiced his concern that a specialist would be needed for Alison's injuries, the doctor on call, Dr. Volodia Angelov, stated that he was a thoracic surgeon and would be able to perform the operations.

Dr. Comyn put his hand on her head and said, "Don't worry now. We are going to take care of your breathing. When you wake up everything will be over. You can relax now."

"Daddy, please don't worry about me."


Dr. Angelov would later state that he had never seen someone with injuries and in the condition that Alison was in. Not in his 16 years as a doctor. This is how he described her:

"She was filthy, black as a coal miner. Her entire body was covered in a
fine layer of black sand. Her eyes had haemorrhaged and were blood red, her hair
was matted with sand, twigs, leaves and dried blood, her knees were cut and
scraped, her feet were lacerated and her finger nails were black."

Calamar's Rants: Allison's Miracle (2)

Her throat had been cut basically from ear to ear, a wound measuring about 4 inches, and deep enough for him to see her spinal column. By some miracle her carotid arteries and voice box had been missed, but pretty much everything else had been severed—her anterior muscles, trachea, larynx and all the major veins. The "something" that Tiaan had pushed back into the wound, was her thyroid. It had been cut in half and Alison should have died from this injury, since even a nick is very serious and potentially fatal. She should also have died from drowning in her own blood.

There were numerous stab wounds to her abdomen, and her intestines had been ruptured or punctured in several places. Not only would it need to be carefully washed in a saline solution to clean all the dirt and sand and other foreign matter, but every break in its surface would need to be discovered and stitched.

Alison was in surgery for three hours to close the wounds to her throat and stomach, and to fix her intestines. And even then her situation was critical. There was a substantial risk of septicemia in her abdominal injury. The wound to her throat could become swollen and choke her. As a result, Alison was placed in the High Care Unit and watched continuously.

She awoke later that morning, in pain. Seemingly every nerve in her body was crying out with some complaint. But she was alive. Sunlight shimmered all around her, and she was alive.
Her mother, who had been such a large motivation in her fight to live, came in to see her. When her father arrived from Johannesburg, he was shocked and overwhelmed at the sight of his daughter. Her first words to him were, "Daddy, please don't worry about me." This is one of the hallmarks of Alison; she tends to think of others first and herself second.

Tiaan also visited, resulting in an emotional reunion. Alison felt especially close to him, and that he really understood what she had gone through, since he had fought such a large part of her struggle right beside her.

Although rape was still very much a "hush crime" in 1994 South Africa, Alison was completely open about every aspect of the attack from the start. She did not feel guilty or ashamed.
And then the flowers arrived. Bunches and baskets and bouquets. Cards and notes. Before long, were it not for the machines and tubes and the nurses, Alison would have thought she was lying in a florist's shop. This was an initial indication of the tremendous impact this brave young woman would have on the people of Port Elizabeth, and very soon the whole of South Africa.


Detective Nadia Swanepoel had a hunch. In fact, she was pretty sure that she knew who was responsible for the attack on Alison. She arrived at the hospital with a thick police album containing numerous black and white mug shots.

Alison had not been the pair's first victim.

Alison was certain that she would be able to identify Frans and Theuns. After all, she had consciously stored all the details about them. However, when confronted with a sea of swimming black and white faces, the endeavor became quite daunting. Her tired mind, still reeling from trying to deal with events not even close to a day old, struggled to focus.

But she need not have worried. Among the turning pages and the mirage of photos, Frans' face stood out almost as if it were in color.

Det. Swanepoel literally did a few dance steps from excitement. "I knew it," she announced.
At around 5:00 a.m. on Monday morning, December 19, Frans du Toit and Theuns Kruger were arrested. Two hours later, Det. Melvin Humpel was called in to head the investigation. He had 16 years of experience and this was going to be a high-profile case. In addition, Alison had not been the pair's first victim.

On the evening of February 25, 1994, a 20-year-old student was sitting in her car outside a pizza parlor in the Central district of Port Elizabeth. Frans du Toit appeared beside her much like he did with Alison, ordering her to move over while he got behind the wheel. On this occasion, however, he had a gun.

As they drove off, she began to cry, but then decided to talk about herself in the hopes that he wouldn't hurt her if he got to know her. This is a technique that hostage negotiators often employ, trying to get the captors to view their prisoners as real people. It did not work with du Toit, unfortunately, and he raped her after he parked the car somewhere in Noordhoek. She remained passive, only pleading with him not to kill her.

He didn't kill her, but drove to a road café, where he bought her a sandwich, a koeksister (a twisted pastry soaked in syrup) and a rose. du Toit talked about his sister, saying that he would kill any man who raped her.

Then he drove to a spot near the Pine Lodge holiday resort, where he raped the woman once again. He ordered her to tell him that she loved him.

Finally, he drove back to the city and left her at the Beach Hotel with the words, "You're an amazing person, and I hope I can make it up to you sometime," as she testified at the trial according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 13, 1995.

The woman didn't say anything at first, but finally told a friend a week later. The friend convinced her to report the crime and du Toit was arrested the following month. On March 15, 1994, he appeared in the magistrates' court, where he was released on bail of R100 ($16.40).
du Toit struck again on December 4, 1994, this time with his friend, Theuns Kruger.

Their victim was a 21-year-old woman, three months pregnant. du Toit pushed a gun against her stomach. Although she told him that she was pregnant, he just told her to shut up and walk. Kruger followed. They took her to an isolated part of Central, where du Toit molested her. After Kruger raped her, du Toit ordered her to fellate him. When she gagged, he raped her. She complained that it was hurting, and she pleaded that he was injuring the baby. But du Toit only ordered her to shut up, told Kruger to push her hands down, and continued.

Afterwards, they discussed whether they would kill her or not, and finally decided to let her go. On her way home, she saw a police van, stopped the officers and told them what had happened. Both du Toit and Kruger were arrested.

On December 5 they appeared in the magistrates' court. They were released on their own recognizance, provided that they returned to court on January 5.

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Less than two weeks after they left the courtroom, they abducted Alison.

Courts Under Fire

Naturally, when it became known that the two men responsible for the brutal attack that exploded onto the front pages—not only around Port Elizabeth but the whole country—had been on bail for two previous attacks, all hell broke loose around the courts.

Dullah Omar, the Minister of Justice, contacted the Attorney-General of the Eastern Cape, requesting an investigation and a report.

Daan Pieterse, president of the district court, and Nick Bester, acting chief magistrate of Port Elizabeth, released a statement in defense of the court's actions. The following section was quoted in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of December 22, 1994:

"It has to be borne in mind that, in accordance with the Constitution, an accused has the right to be released from custody with or without bail unless it is not in the interest of justice. The state, and this includes the police, has to prove that the interests of justice will be impeded in order to prevent release. This can only be done if the investigating officer provides the prosecutor with enough evidence, and if the prosecutor then presents this evidence to the court."

Fair enough. But in my opinion there is no crime more serious than rape, except maybe murder, and no one accused of either should simply be released on their own recognizance. In the least, some time should be allowed the investigating officer to determine the merits of the case and the criminal history of the suspects. And if an accused is to be released on bail, it should be a proper amount—R100, is a pittance, and is paramount to spitting in the face of any woman who has ever been raped.

Meanwhile, three more rapes of women ranging in age from 16 to 24 years were reported within two days. The cases were not related to each other or to du Toit and Kruger, but the news was met with outrage.

Statistically, women in South Africa have a better chance of being raped than

On December 27, Les Roberts, the Attorney-General of the Eastern Cape, announced that the manner in which bail applications are handled, would be improved. Better communication between police officers and prosecutors would be a particularly prominent feature. In the first case, du Toit was released because he had a permanent address and stable employment, and since the woman had waited a week before reporting the attack, there was no physical evidence.
After the second rape, the suspects were arrested and taken to a different police station. They were brought before the court the next morning, without an investigating officer having been assigned to the case. Hence, the prosecutor didn't realize that one of the accused was already being investigated for another rape, and bail was not opposed.

Roberts was quoted in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of December 28, 1994, as saying that "the prosecutor in the second case did not have knowledge of the first. He had no reason to suspect that Mr du Toit had already been released with a warning in relation to a previous rape charge."
Of course, had the prosecutor done some research on the type of criminals he was prosecuting, he would have known that rape is a crime of violence which is usually seated in some underlying psychological motive, and hence, rapists tend to have excellent chances of both having raped before and raping again in the future. Such an informed prosecutor would then suspect previous charges of rape and should be motivated to ascertain whether this is in fact the case. Armed with such knowledge, he or she can then present the court with the appropriate evidence, thereby saving other innocent women from having to deal with the trauma of rape for what usually tends to be an extended period of time.


At the time of their arrest, du Toit and Kruger had only been told that they were suspected of rape. They didn't know that Alison had not died, and Det. Humpel was planning on using this information to throw them off balance. He took Kruger aside first, since he was the youngest at 19 years, and because 26-year-old du Toit was much more organized, having had a number of run-ins with the police before.

"... find a beautiful girl to rape and kill with a nice

Kruger carelessly slumped in the chair in Det. Humpel's office. The detective told him that he would be charged with rape and attempted murder. Kruger was confused about the attempted murder charge, and Det. Humpel told him that Alison had survived their attack. Not only that, but she remembered everything that had happened on that night.

Shocked, Kruger swore and said that in that case it wouldn't help if he lied. He produced the rings that du Toit had taken from Alison, and proceeded to recount the events of December 17-18.

Kruger was having a barbeque at du Toit's. The two men were drinking beer and there was some friction between du Toit and his wife due to financial issues. At some point the men left, having decided to find "a beautiful girl to rape and kill with a nice car". They did not finish the barbeque, and drank 2,5 liter sherry at a shebeen, before embarking on their mission. They didn't have success and Kruger lost interest, going to Club Tonite. Du Toit continued the search and later came to find him.

At Noordhoek, du Toit first raped the woman and then Kruger did. Du Toit strangled her and they pulled her from the car. Kruger asked his friend whether he thought the girl was dead. "Let's find out," he replied, and stuck his knife into her stomach. He apparently liked it and continued stabbing her. Then Kruger took out his hunting knife and drew it across the skin of her throat. Du Toit shoved him aside and repeatedly slit her throat, cutting the wound deeper and deeper. Then they drove off, had some more beer and went to sleep.

Kruger agreed to confess in front of a magistrate as well, at which time he also confessed to raping the pregnant woman earlier in December. In addition, he provided the detective with the knife—engraved with the name "Frik"—which he had used to cut Alison's throat.

Du Toit was equally bewildered at learning of Alison's survival. He told pretty much the same story. Det. Humpel noted that he showed absolutely no remorse; in fact, he seemed to derive much pleasure from divulging all the details. Du Toit said they had wanted to look for another girl the next day. This one, he said, they would've thrown off the Van Stadens bridge, which is 410 feet high and quite a popular location to commit suicide. The policeman must have felt a chill.

On December 20, Frans du Toit and Theuns Kruger appeared in the magistrates' court on numerous charges.

They did not receive bail.

Beginning to Heal

"The only thing I could do was feel, not emotion, but pain, raw physical pain. Sometimes just being alive hurt."

Tiaan had to return to Johannesburg, but left Alison with a small cactus and a card. Inside were the words, "You're the bravest person I have ever met."

A detective came to visit her on her second day in the hospital. He introduced himself as Melvin Humpel, the investigating officer in her case. He told her not to worry; the men responsible had been arrested earlier that morning and were in custody. Alison was washed in relief.

Meanwhile, reporters began to show tremendous interest in Alison. People responded to her story, on the one hand because people in general tend to like tales about someone who survives against all odds, but also because crime was quite rife in South Africa and this woman showed remarkable courage in the face of a horrific attack. Although Alison had no compunction against speaking with them, she was just not up to it yet physically. Later, Det. Humpel advised her to wait until after the trial.

She began to think about the attack, and the thing that confounded her was that these two men had tried their best to kill her. She struggled with the enormity thereof.

There was of course always pain, "excruciating, mind-blowing pain". The daily process of cleaning her body and her wounds was sessions in torture. But as Christmas loomed, Alison walked a couple of steps for the first time. Despite the feeling that her intestines wanted to burst from her abdomen, she was thrilled.

After Christmas she was moved out of High Care to a private room, and she walked with increasing frequency. Alison began to wonder what she was going to do with this thing that had happened to her. Whatever that would be, she resolved not to allow her attackers to hold power over her. "I had always believed that nothing happened to anyone who didn't have the capacity to overcome it," she wrote in her book. "We are never given more than we can bear. It was up to me now to have faith in my own power and believe that this would not set me back or change my life."

Despite some setbacks, Alison was discharged on the last day of 1994. Although every interaction between the car and the texture of the road was translated by her body into pain, the journey was still amazing. She might never have seen any of it again.

"Look at me. Who will love me this way?"

Her mother took care of her. For some time, however, she would have to travel back to the hospital daily to have her wounds redressed.

Days grew into weeks. Although Alison told everyone she was okay and acted as if she were, her mother saw her without the mask. She had been blessed with a mother who loved her unconditionally, and at home she did not have to pretend. She experienced mood swings, irritability, and often acted contradictory to the person she used to be. She needed help, even though she didn't want to see it herself. Her mother gave her the number of a counselor, and Alison did go to speak with her. And it did help, so she went with some regularity.

Still, she did not really deal with the enormity of what had happened to her, not on anything more than a superficial level. "The only thing I could do was feel," she wrote, "not emotion, but pain, raw physical pain. Sometimes just being alive hurt." Calamar's Rants: Allison's Miracle (3)

One evening Alison found herself in the bathroom, staring at the wounds which described the unthinkable things that two cruel men had done to her on one dark night. The line running seemingly right around her throat immediately yanked at her eyes, but it was on her stomach that they would linger. The wounds on her abdomen were "hideous", and included the additional scars of an incision made during the surgery. The moment overwhelmed her, and tears spilled from her eyes, seemingly from an endless supply.

She called her mother.

"Look at me. Who will love me this way?"

I have a feeling this moment wrenched her mother into her core. But somehow she managed to find a calm response. "One day you will find someone who will. Someone who will be capable of seeing beyond the scars to the beautiful person you are."

Of course Alison rejected this sentiment almost out of hand.

She also worried that du Toit and Kruger might somehow get bail. That they might come after her. That they might know others who would come after her.

Identity Parade (Police Line-up)

In February, Alison moved to a new flat. Safety was priority number one, and she did much to improve her new home to instill her with a sense of security. She also replaced her car, since the old one would forever remind her of what had happened inside it on December 18.

Finally, as March approached, she went back to work. She had longed for this moment, to get back into her (old) life, but before too long she would realize that her work as an insurance broker would never be what it had been before.

Presently, however, she would have more important issues to deal with. The most pressing one was the approaching identity parade. Alison was quite fearful of the prospect of facing her would-be killers again. Still, she wanted to assist the investigation in every way she could. And she wanted them locked up. Her relationship with Det. Humpel had grown since their first meeting, and he frequently listened to her concerns and reassured her. (This says quite a lot about the man, since detectives in South Africa routinely have to carry caseloads easily approaching 60 to 80 dockets.) There were times when she felt sick.

And then it was March 3, and she was in a small waiting room with a couple of other women tied to her through two rapists they were all there to identify. They had to sit in silence, not allowed to have any contact. The seconds struggled by in anguish. And then suddenly her name was called. Alison had to go in first. Despite all the trepidation and worries, she had no difficulty recognizing them. "They look different, but it's number six and number thirteen." Det. Humpel later confirmed that she had identified du Toit and Kruger. Alison left the building drained.

She read the frequent newspaper articles about the case, gleaning nuggets of new information about her attackers on almost a daily basis. In one she read a quote from Kruger, saying that they "wanted a nice car and a nice woman. Our goal was to find the woman, take her car, kidnap her, rape her and then kill her." Reading these lines unsettled her. It meant that du Toit had known they would kill her all along, even as he had sat next to her spinning all sorts of other tales.

In the latter half of March, Alison went with some friends to neighboring Zimbabwe for a vacation. On the 20th, she wrote the following in her diary:

"My stomach is painful all the time. ALL the time. The
pain never goes away. I'm so tired of it. So tired of being someone who has to
deal with this. I just want to be normal, like I was before. ... I feel
different from everyone else and they treat me that way. Everyone is careful
around me." She also wrestled with the inevitable trial. At times she just
wanted to let it go. Some days later she wrote: "I wish I could actually break
down, that I could cry. I really want to cry. I want to cry for the Ali that is
lost for ever. ... I want to cry for my body. I want to cry for the carefree
life that I had that I did not appreciate enough when it was there."

Back in South Africa, Alison decided it was time to go back into counseling. She also got a prescription for anti-depressants to help her cope with day-to-day activities. Her job was not providing her with satisfaction anymore and her performance had deteriorated rather significantly since the attack. She was fortunate in that her boss cared about her and was very understanding, but it made her subject to feelings of guilt. There were also nightmares, which left her drenched and frightened. Sometimes sleep just stayed away.

Prelude to a Trial

On December 29, du Toit and Kruger again appeared in the magistrates' court. They were ordered to undergo 30 days' psychiatric evaluation at Valkenberg Psychiatric Hospital at Cape Town. During this time they would reside at Pollsmoor Prison.

A week later, it was ruled—in their absence—that they would be tried on all the charges relating to their victims simultaneously. There was still uncertainty whether du Toit would have a separate trial for the girl he raped alone.

Towards the end of January, reporters got their eyes on a number of the reports handed in to the court as part of the charge sheet. Some of the information was quite sensational.

Du Toit apparently had become involved in Satanism at the tender age of 13. He felt that he had an evil side that became more prominent when inebriated. While having sex, it was "in his thoughts to kill," according to an article in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of January 28, 1995.
Kruger, on the other hand, could not obtain enough sexual satisfaction since he could not always find a willing partner. He did not believe in God, but in the devil. He also sported two nicknames—"Damien," from the movie The Omen where a boy by this name was the devil's son, and "Chucky," based on the murderous doll inhabited by the soul of a killer in the Child's Play horror movies. Apparently, he had no feelings for anybody, although he liked the aunt he had been living with, because she "gave him food and is friendly," according to a second article in the same newspaper.

On the morning of March 3, an identity parade was held at the Murder and Robbery Unit. Alison was there, as were the pregnant woman they had raped earlier in December and another woman they had attempted to abduct two days prior to Alison's attack.

On March 23, both du Toit and Kruger pleaded guilty to eight charges, including kidnapping, rape and attempted murder. Their attorney, Henry Lerm, read their plea explanation to the court. It detailed their attacks on the pregnant woman and on Alison. Regarding Alison, du Toit's statement included the following sections, as quoted in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of March 24, 1995:

"I just told her 'sorry' when she pleaded with me not to kill her. I put both my hands around her neck and squeezed. I strangled her until she went completely limp."

And later, after he described how Kruger made the initial cut to Alison's throat:

"I pushed Theuns away and cut her repeatedly across the throat. I probably cut her twenty to thirty times on the same place with the knife."

While their lawyer was reading these chilling words, the two accused just stared expressionlessly, revealing no emotion. Nonetheless, both ended their statements by saying that they were "sorry" for what they had done.

Interestingly, du Toit pleaded not guilty to the four charges relating to his solo attack during February of the previous year. No one except du Toit (and perhaps his lawyer) knows why, but he decided to exercise his right to remain silent in this regard.

They appeared in court again on April 26. Although nothing of legal significance happened, it is interesting to note the two men's demeanor. They seemed quite relaxed and spoke at length with du Toit's wife and brother-in-law. Du Toit and his wife held hands and periodically there was laughter. Although she eyed the press cameras with some trepidation, du Toit and Kruger didn't mind their pictures being taken.

Du Toit's father-in-law spoke with reporters afterwards. He said that his family was going through a very difficult time. His daughter, in particular, was struggling. "She comes from a good family," he was quoted in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of April 27, 1995. "It wasn't necessary that something like this should've happened to her." As is so often the case, those who are close to the offender suffer the burden of what he has done, while he seems almost oblivious.

On May 30, it was ruled that the trial would begin on June 12 in the Supreme Court. The accused faced multiple charges of robbery with aggravating circumstances, abduction, indecent assault, rape and attempted murder.

"I don't know how I'll ever be able to forgive myself."

On June 8, less than a week before the trial would begin, du Toit held a press conference to discuss the influence that Satanism has had on his life and to "warn others against the dangers" of such involvement, according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 9, 1995. He looks pretty relaxed and comfortable on the photos, with an empty cake plate and a cup of coffee in front of him. He also revealed that an exorcism had been organized for the 10th. Interesting timing.

Partners in Murder - Du Toit

Historically, sexual predators almost invariably acted alone. There were exceptions, but those were rare. In recent times, however, these exceptions have grown in number. There have been serial killer partnerships, such as Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris, Clay Lawson and Russel Odom. Killer couples, like Ian Brady and Myra Hindley, Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka . In South Africa we've had mass murder partners Adam Woest and Trevor Theys (Sizzlers), and gang crimes—both in an organized setup or simply multiple participants—have proliferated, ranging from armed robbery to rape to murder and frequently including them all.

According to John Douglas, in Obsession, there is always a dominant leader and a submissive follower in these partnerships. It is readily apparent that Frans du Toit was the dominant one in this case, not only during the commission of the crimes but later during the trial as well.

Frans Adriaan du Toit was 26 years old at the time of Alison's attack. The son of a police officer, he was raised with Christian values. Nevertheless, while he was in standard 6 (grade 8), he set fire to a dormitory, because, he claimed, he was listening to heavy metal and was influenced by hidden messages. He was expelled, but his parents moved to another town the next year anyway. It was here, in the town of Adelaide, 93 miles northeast of Port Elizabeth, where he met a girl whom he claimed was a witch. She said that she conducted rituals during which demons manifested. At some point du Troit claimed that he had become "possessed". Du Toit was lazy at school, failing standard 7 (grade 9) twice.

His parents sent him to the army, where he passed a total of three months of his time in the detention barracks. His parents helped him to obtain a job at a mine in Welkom in the Free State. Here he married a woman and fathered a daughter. He later left them, because his wife "didn't satisfy him sexually," according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 20, 1995. He moved to Port Elizabeth, where his parents again helped him with employment, this time as a driver for a chain of stationery shops. After he was fired, following the discovery that he had stolen money, and received a suspended sentence of three years, he opened a shebeen (selling alcohol illegally). Like so many sexual predators, his life was a succession of failures. Meanwhile, in 1993 he married his second wife, with whom he had a son.

(Video) Tally Hall - Hidden in the Sand


Psychopath: NOUN:
A person with an
antisocial personality disorder, manifested in aggressive, perverted, criminal,
or amoral behavior without empathy or remorse.

Psychologically, du Toit is something of a paradox.

He exhibits many characteristics of a psychopath. Robert Hare has spent almost all of his adult life researching and studying psychopathy. In Without Conscience, he identifies 12 characteristics, which were used to develop a measure called the Psychopathy Checklist Revised. Resisting the temptation to digress into a thorough examination, the following characteristics are readily apparent in du Toit's psychological make-up:

(1) He is glib and superficial, articulate and speaks with ease. This was evident during the abductions of all the victims and particularly in his testimony during the trial.

(2) Indications of narcissism and egocentricity shone through during the press conference and his testimony, where he basked in all the attention. It is also obvious in the photographs taken at various court appearances.

(3) He never showed any empathy for others—not for the unborn baby of one of his victims, not for the suffering of his wife during the trial while he posed for photographers. When Alison pleaded for her life, he responded with a flat "sorry" and closed his fingers even more tightly around her throat.

(4) Lying came very easily to him. After all his arrests prior to Alison's attack, he lied to his wife about what he had been apprehended for, as she later testified. He easily concocted a story during Alison's abduction about a friend owing him money and stealing his TV. His adeptness at manipulation is evident in his success at keeping his wife under his spell despite everything she learned about him during the trial. The press conference shortly before the trial is another example.

(5) The hallmark of the psychopath is his complete lack of the facility to feel guilt. Never once did du Toit express anything close to true remorse. He described his efforts to kill Alison, first with his hands and then with a knife, with no indication of emotion, sorrow or even shame. The only tiny expression of shame was the bowing of his head when his mother testified.

(6) His impulsivity was apparent on the night of Alison's attack—in the middle of a barbeque, he just left the meat on the grill and went in search of a woman to rape.

(7) No sense of responsibility is evident in du Toit's past. Three months in detention during his stint in the army. Leaving his wife and child simply because the sex wasn't to his liking. Stealing money from his employer and thus losing yet another job, while having a wife and a child to support. Not to mention refusing to accept responsibility for his crimes by blaming everything on a "demon".

(8) His problematic behavior was already evident during childhood. Burning a dormitory. Drinking. Getting involved in Satanism.

(9) And, of course, his adult antisocial behavior need not even be mentioned further. Thus, we already have nine clear indications in support of psychopathy.

Nicholas Groth and Jean Birnbaum describe a study of rapists in The Rape Crisis Intervention Handbook. Rape is a crime of violence and is not about sex. Instead, sex is used as a weapon since it is one way in which a man can very directly assert his physical dominance over a woman. Sometimes his motivation is directly tied to females, or it may be in response to his failure to deal with other stresses in his life. By controlling and dominating a woman, the rapist tries to regain control of areas in his life where he feels he is out of control. He lacks the maturity and facility to deal with these stresses in a more constructive fashion.

What makes du Toit interesting is the fact that, behaviorally, he conforms most closely to what is known as a power-reassurance rapist, but with some unusual divergences. John Douglas describes this type of rapist as having a deep sense of inferiority which he tries to assuage by raping women. It is his fantasy that she will be impressed by him sexually, and will actually come to enjoy the experience. He treats her relatively "well", with minimal violence since this would break down his fantasy. He will engage in conversations with her both during and after the attack, refraining from profanity and often enquiring whether she likes what he's doing. This has led to the moniker of "gentleman rapist". However, his concern is not for her experience but rather for the attention to his struggling self-esteem. He prefers to use a surprise attack, having a weapon handy although he seldom uses it. The woman is usually instructed to remove her own clothes as this fits with his fantasy of "consensual" sex. Attacks may be protracted, during which he may have intimate and "familiar" conversations with his victim. Afterwards, he may apologize.

Du Toit exhibited many of these behaviors during the three rapes we know of. He surprised all the victims in their cars, brandishing a weapon. He spoke with them in a friendly fashion, telling the first one about his sister and apologizing to her after he let her go. Because of his specific needs, the first victim's attempt to humanize herself by telling him about her failed miserably. It merely strengthened his fantasy. During Alison's rape he asked her whether her boyfriend also performed certain acts on her and whether she liked it. He was mostly "polite", although he was crude in his choice of words when ordering her to fellate him. When he asked Kruger whether he also wanted to have sex with her, and Kruger replied very rudely, du Toit told him that Alison was "a lady" and he shouldn't speak to her in that manner. The violence escalated sharply when he began to strangle her. The kind of violence he perpetrated on Alison is completely unlike a reassurance rapist's typical behavior. But then, reassurance rapists also tend to work alone, which may influence the amount of violence in the crime.

Partners in Murder - Kruger

Theuns Johannes Kruger was 19 years old when he participated in Alison's attack. His father had left his mother shortly after she got pregnant (and went on to be incarcerated himself). She married another dubious character, who just stayed long enough to provide Theuns with his name. She married yet again, and they moved to Tsitsikamma, a breathtaking stretch of forest next to the southeastern coast. Apparently, the new stepfather had moments of violence, frequently visited on the boy. While in prison, Kruger received a letter from his mother, inquiring whether he had been molested by his stepfather and he said he had been . Whether or not this is true remains uncertain, since it was the first time he mentioned it and the stepfather in question responded by stating that he would sue them for defamation.

Still, the boy did not have a happy childhood and seriously contemplated suicide on at least one occasion. At school the other children called him "Drie-tiet" ("Three Tit") because of a third nipple. It doesn't seem that he really found acceptance anywhere, and got involved in drugs and alcohol. After standard 8 (grade 10) he left school and joined the army. Earlier in 1994 he claimed to have had an "intense sexual relationship" with a Satanic witch, according to testimony quoted in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of August 1, 1995. Interesting coincidence that both men were seduced into Satanism by a witch.

Kruger's mother would later tell Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of August 10, 1995, that "he was a dear child. We had fun playing together as mother and child do." She went on to blame his troubles on his stepfather and the wrong kind of friends. Still, she had never heard from her son after he left school until she wrote to him in prison, nor do her other two daughters maintain contact with her.

Kruger met du Toit in the latter's shebeen, where he went to buy alcohol. This was in June 1994, about four months after the first rape. They became friends and Kruger frequently confided in the older man. A psychiatrist who evaluated Kruger at the Elizabeth Donkin Hospital in Port Elizabeth testified that Kruger suffered from a very low self image and seemed to be easily influenced. Du Toit told him more about Satanism and demons, and Kruger said that he would like to obtain the power of a demon.

After the first words were spoken between du Toit and Kruger it was probably inevitable that they would form a partnership. Du Toit—the conscience-free manipulator. Kruger—the acceptance-seeking and impressionable misfit. In I Have Lived in the Monster, Robert Ressler argues that, in such partnerships, one is the leader (dominant and organized), while the other is the follower (inclined to be submissive and more disorganized). The fantasies of both men are appeased by the crimes they commit together.

Sometimes, it is rather the submissive partner who actually kills the victim. But du Toit needed to remain dominant at all times. He was the one who chose the victim, who performed the initial approach, who gave the orders. After he stabbed Alison, Kruger was undoubtedly excited by the blood, by the power over another person's life, and he wanted a part of that power. So he took his knife and cut her throat. But du Toit shoved him aside and "goes berserk", according to his own testimony in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 20, 1995, cutting her throat again and again. Because he needs to be in control. He has to kill.

The Trial

The Supreme Court trial of the "ripper rapists," as Frans du Toit and Theuns Kruger had become known, began on June 12, 1995, before Mr. Justice Chris Jansen, who would go on to preside over another shocking trial, that of Stewart Wilken, almost three years later.

"It was as if someone who should've been dead was
testifying about her murder."

The morning started with Henry Lerm, who had been their attorney up to now, stating that he could no longer represent them. He cited "ethical reasons," according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 13, 1995. What the exact nature of these ethical reasons was and remains unknown.

The first witness was the 20-year-old student whom du Toit had raped on his own. Judge Jansen found du Toit guilty of the four charges—two counts of rape and one each of indecent assault and abduction—that same day, but sentencing would occur in conjunction with the other charges.

Although Alison attended court each day, she was not allowed inside until after her testimony. As a result, she spent the first couple of days in the waiting room.

"Usually they don't make it to me ... To be honest, it's
a miracle that I'm standing here and not the pathologist... It was simply a

On June 13, the pregnant woman testified. And then it was Alison's turn. The prosecutor, Grant Buchner, guided her through the attack as well as the damage that it had caused her physically and emotionally. A member of public was quoted in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 16, 1995, as saying that "it was as if someone who should've been dead was testifying about her murder."

Tiaan, who had since completed a course as paramedic and had decided to become a doctor of people rather than animals, came next. And finally, Dr. Angelov was called to the stand. He described Alison's wounds and the intricate surgery he had to perform. At one point he stated that "usually they don't make it to me ... To be honest, it's a miracle that I'm standing here and not the pathologist," according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 15, 1995. He admitted that he could not explain the fact that Alison had survived. "It was simply a miracle."

There was another woman who testified. She described how she had only barely managed to avoid being Alison. At 12:30 p.m. on December 16, 1994, she was looking for parking outside a friend's flat. She noticed two men watching her, and she felt uncomfortable. But she parked anyway. As she looked up after removing the faceplate of her car radio, their images were reflected in the rearview mirror.

And then the one she later recognized as du Toit was next to her door, one hand on the handle and the other beneath his shirt. He looked away for a moment, and she snatched the opportunity, slamming the lock down. Du Toit called to the other man, Kruger, and they walked off. When details of Alison's attack became known, she contacted Det. Humpel, and later pointed out both men at the identification parade.

Judge Jansen found Frans du Toit and Theuns Kruger guilty on all charges. These were abduction, indecent assault and rape in relation to the attack on the pregnant woman, and abduction, indecent assault, rape, attempted murder and robbery with aggravating circumstances in relation to the attack on Alison. Sentencing would be deferred until litigating and mitigating testimony were heard.

Mitigating/Aggravating Testimony

First of these was Dr. Gillian Smale, who had previously examined all three victims. She described the dynamics of Rape Trauma Syndrome in general and more specifically how it affected each woman. Because her testimony was of a highly personal nature, the proceedings were held in camera.

Then Frans du Toit took the stand. He described his disappointing past and his involvement in Satanism. As expected, he placed the blame for his actions on the demon, Incubus, he claimed, had resided within him. He said it was Incubus who had told him to rape all the women, and who had told him to kill Alison: "I [Incubus] want her dead," according to his testimony in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 20, 1995.

What is very interesting about his testimony is how he continually downplayed Kruger's involvement, intimating that the younger man initially thought Alison was a friend and was later shocked after du Toit had strangled her. Du Toit also described how Kruger used the hunting knife he had cut Alison's throat with the next morning to prepare breakfast. The knife still had her blood on the blade and Kruger "was very impressed with it," as du Toit was quoted in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 21, 1995. The shock didn't last too long then.

Du Toit continued to describe the rapes, the throttling, the stabbing and cutting as if he were recounting a trip to the post office. No indication of emotion. But he remembered to include how he didn't have the words to describe how sorry he was. In specific reference to Alison, he said, "I don't know how I'll ever be able to forgive myself," according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 20, 1995.

Kruger chose not to testify, but du Toit's wife tearfully told the court that she still loved her husband. She repeated the lies he had told her about every crime, but chose to believe that "he had these things in him which caused him to" commit the rapes, according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 21, 1995. Du Toit's mother also testified. Her son hung his head, finally showing some emotion. A number of people testified in relation to the demon defense, the details of which we'll get to in a later section.

On June 21, the pregnant woman gave birth to a healthy baby daughter. The little girl's umbilical cord was tied around her neck and for a while she had to fight to breathe, but like her mother, she found the strength to survive.

When the trial resumed a week later, a police chaplain described du Toit as "a different person," according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of August 1, 1995. He was quite optimistic about du Toit's chosen new career as prison evangelist. Psychologist Ian Meyer's description of Kruger past and present was not as encouraging, but he nevertheless ended by stating his belief that Kruger could be rehabilitated. He stated that Kruger "had empathy with his rape victims and remorse for what he had done," according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of August 2, 1995. Of course, both priests and psychologists are trained to believe in humankind's ability to be redeemed or to redeem themselves, respectively; otherwise the jobs would be redundant.


August 7, 1995. The day of sentencing. People descended upon the courthouse in droves. Extra chairs were carried in but many people had to stand anyway. Mr Justice Chris Jansen told the two accused that he had strong reservations about the sincerity of their remorse, and that their crimes had been premeditated and planned. He said that the horrific attack on Alison was like "a boy walking with a slingshot, shooting birds simply to kill," according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of August 8, 1995. Their claims of demonic possession had made little impression on the judge, and he stated that it would be "a sad day when this religion serves as a mitigating factor."

It was the court's responsibility to remove these two men from society forever, the judge said. Therefore, he sentenced Frans du Toit to three terms of life imprisonment, one for the charges related to each attack. Theuns Kruger received 25 years for the rape of the pregnant woman and a life sentence for the attack on Alison. (There is no death penalty in South Africa.) He continued to order that copies of the sentences be placed inside each man's prison record, so that the authorities will know that the judge wanted them to remain in prison "for the rest of their natural lives," according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of August 8, 1995.

The three survivors left the courtroom drained, relieved and satisfied that justice had been done.
Du Toit's wife left in tears.

Kruger left with a bang on the wall and a yell, as reported in Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of August 8, 1995, "Well, here we go! Fuck you all!"

So much for the "empathy for his rape victims and remorse for what he had done."

Demons and Satanism

...the truly possessed are consumed by guilt and remorse after they have been freed, neither of which seemed particularly evident in du Toit.

Two main reasons for young people to become involved in the occult are:

(1) because they can't find acceptance anywhere in their lives and then stumble onto a Satanic cell where they are welcomed; and

(2) to gain the supernatural power promised by those already involved. Assuming that du Toit was indeed involved in Satanism, he would've been after the power. Kruger was probably after both.

But young people usually don't find their way to Satanism on their own; typically they are drafted by other Satanists and prepared for some time, during which they are systematically drawn deeper and deeper into the world of devil worship. John and Helen Gardiner describe it as a slow and deliberate process, approached intelligently and quite psychologically. A highly successful technique, apparently frequently employed in South Africa, is for students at school to approach their peers, first telling them about easy sex, drugs and supernatural powers, then giving them glimpses of this dark world, and finally sucking them in completely. The ostracized and lonely make easy targets.

Of course there are schoolchildren who are only superficially involved. They wear black and adorn themselves with Satanic symbols, but they do not belong to an organized Satanic gathering. There are a number of these organized Satanic churches in South Africa, such as the Order of Darkness and the Brotherhood of the Ram, which operate underground and contain some prominent members of society. Doctors, police officers, business executives, teachers, even elders in the Christian churches are thought to be members. They specifically target younger children, both because they are easy and because they are more likely to remain members.
Apart from worshiping the devil and performing magical rituals, the more organized Satanists are also believed to engage in ritual abuse and sexual molestation.

John Gardiner, with his wife Helen, began investigating Satanism in South Africa after he became aware of its existence in 1988 as editor of the magazine Personality. They spoke with numerous people who had been or still were involved in Satanism, and that is where the information contained in their book derives from. Although they found it difficult to believe at first, many of the stories were confirmed from other sources, and very similar stories came from diverse areas of the country. From the outset, the Gardiners state that their book is written from a Christian perspective.

But what do the Satanists have to say? On the one hand, there are those who openly profess and advocate the dark and ritualistic nature of Satanism. In 1993 Gavin Baddeley interviewed two members of a Norwegian black metal rock group, later included in an article in The X Factor.

Baddeley asked the one member, called Count Grishnackh, what was happening in Norway. He replied that "over a period of six months there have been eight churches ruined by fire. And, of course, the normal grave desecrations. Also, some people have disappeared."

When asked what might have happened to these people, Grishnackh said, "Something along the lines of a Satanic murder."

When Baddeley asked the other one, who called himself Euronymous, what he thought about these occurrences, he replied:

"I support it 100 per cent. I think all kinds of
actions which are necessary for spreading sorrow are great. Many people say, for
example, that desecrating churchyards is just stupid because you don't harm the
Christians. But I think it's great because it can depress so many people ... It
spreads sorrow and I think that's very important."

Grishnackh went on to stab Euronymous 25 times in the head and torso later that year, killing him.

Gavin Baddeley is himself a Satanist and a priest in the Church of Satan, founded by Anton Szandor LaVey in 1966 in San Francisco. An avid researcher, writer, and well-educated, Baddeley is quite adept at trying to dispel the evil connotation of Satanism with rational argument. He claims that Satanism, as practiced by the Church of Satan, does not entail the worshiping of Satan as an entity, but rather the pursuit of pleasure and want, without the restraints of guilt and sin.

He denounces claims of ritual abuse and ritualistic sacrifice as Christian propaganda, and attributes those isolated instances which may be true to perpetrators with no "understanding of basic Satanic philosophy or connection to established Satanic groups," according to another article in The X Factor.

If Satanism is then actually merely the pursuit of pleasure, why all the evil symbolism? Why does the cover of LaVey's book The Satanic Bible have an upside-down pentagram with the Satanic goat Baphomet inside it? The Satanic Bible contains extensive information on demons, rituals and magic, including the correct wording to be used. There is also a prayer to Satan—strange if he's not actually worshiped as an entity.

There is a frequently published photo of LaVey conducting a Satanic wedding, dressed in black, with a black hood sporting two horns, with a backdrop of a pentagram with Baphomet on the wall and a naked woman draped across an altar. If the sole aim is the unfettered pursuit of pleasure, why have any connection with Satan at all? Why not just go for "The Church of Hedonism"?

"The Devil Made Me Do It!"

Over the years, there have been a number of murders with some Satanic connection, whether real or merely claimed. In 1995, 20-year-old David McCallum stabbed a 15-year-old boy 11 times after they and two others used a Ouija board. McCallum, who professed to be a Satanist, believed that he was speaking to Satan himself at the time, "If you are Satan, what is it you want me to do?" (The X Factor). The boy died, and McCallum was placed in an institution for the criminally insane. This happened in the UK.

In Los Angeles there was Richard Ramirez, also known as the Night Stalker. Two of his surviving female victims said that he had ordered them to swear by Satan that they would remain silent as he attacked them. He also left Satanic symbols at his crime scenes, some of them on his victims. During a preliminary hearing, Ramirez held his hand up to show a pentagram on his palm and exclaimed "Hail Satan!" Some believe it was real; others, believed it was merely for show.

There was also Sean Sellers of Oklahoma City, aged 16, who first shot and killed a store clerk and then some time later, his mother and stepfather while they were sleeping. He had written the following in a school essay the day before he murdered his parents, as quoted in The X Factor:
"Satanism taught me to be a better person for myself rather than for the benefit of others ... I am free. I can kill without remorse. I have seen and experienced horrors and joys indescribable on paper."

A drug-smuggling gang under the leadership of 26-year-old Adolfo de Jesus Constanzo conducted Satanic rituals and human sacrifice and mutilation in the belief that they would become wealthy and invulnerable. Police discovered the severely mutilated and decomposed remains—including a human brain in a cauldron—of at least 13 people on a ranch near Matamoros, Mexico, in April 1989. When the police finally tracked Constanzo down a month later, he ordered his bodyguard to shoot him.

(Video) Oko Lele - Episode 51: Sadaco - Episodes Collection - CGI animated short

The Gardiners list four categories of Satanists:

(1) amateurs who are only marginally involved, especially through music, occult books, movies, clothing and Satanic symbols;

(2) amateurs that have become deeper involved through reading more about Satanism and forming a group of their own;

(3) Satanists belonging to a formal Satanic church and who refrain from advertising their beliefs as the previous two categories tend to do; and

(4) generational Satanists who "inherit" Satanism from their parents and are usually part of a secret and highly organized society.

Neither du Toit nor Kruger belonged to any formal or informal Satanic group. Psychologist Ian Meyer testified that instead they just believed in "the ideologies of Satanism," according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of August 2, 1995. It would seem that they resembled the first group of amateurs, wearing black and going for image more than actual worship.

Du Toit claimed that during a ritual in 1985, conducted by the witch he'd met in Adelaide, a demon had taken possession of him. This demon, which du Toit called Incubus, supposedly spoke to him "inside his head", and would sometimes give him orders to have "violent sex", according to his testimony in Die Burger of June 20, 1995. The demon, according to du Toit, made him attractive to women; despite this, however, Alison was so repulsed by him that she pushed her hands against the car's ceiling so as not to touch him.

To those who believe in demons, Incubi (the plural of incubus) refer to a certain type of demon—male demons which visit females during the night and engage in sexual intercourse with them. Supposedly there is also a female version, called succubi, which visit men at night for the same purpose. This phenomenon has been offered by some as an explanation for nocturnal emissions, or "wet dreams." According to reports of people who claim to have had contact with these demons, they tend to visit their victims at night, in bed, while they are sleeping. They are also usually invisible.

Du Toit's Excorcism

On June 10, 1995, du Toit underwent his "exorcism." Sgt. James Lottering, of the Occult-Related Crimes Unit in the Eastern Cape, contacted Pastor Arthur Frost, of the Word of Faith Christian Centre, to conduct the proceedings. In all, seven people besides du Toit attended, and the event was even videotaped. Sgt. Lottering testified that a demon did in fact manifest during the exorcism, and five people had to push du Toit down on the chair. Du Toit became "wild and aggressive," according to Die Burger (Oos-Kaap) of June 22, 1995, and he cursed and swore. Chaplain Jacobus Kruger, who also attended, testified that du Toit was unable to say the word "Christ".

Pastor Frost testified that du Toit was indeed possessed, that a demon spoke during the proceedings, and that it was successfully exorcised. He also testified that the possessed person can still deny a demon's suggestions or orders. If the demon takes control of the possessed person, which he stated is possible, the person will feel as if he or she is in a trance and will not have a clear memory of that period of time. Du Toit had on numerous occasions recounted the details of Alison's attack as if he were watching it unfolding before his eyes.

Col. Kobus Jonker, national head of the Occult-Related Crimes Unit, had serious doubts about the authenticity of demonic involvement in the attack on Alison. In addition to reiterating Pastor Frost's contentions that the possessed person retains freedom of choice and that complete demonic control will result in memory loss, Col. Jonker was also troubled by the premeditated and planned nature of the rapes. He claimed that demons are not picky entities—neither physical attractiveness nor relational qualities such as marriage are of much consequence to them.

In other words, from Col. Jonker's point of view, du Toit's demon would probably have had violent sex with his wife as well—du Toit testified that he was lying next to his wife when the demon told him to rape the second victim—and would not have requested "a pretty woman" to rape and kill, as du Toit had testified regarding Alison's attack.

Col. Jonker believed that the truly possessed are consumed by guilt and remorse after they have been freed, neither of which seemed particularly evident in du Toit.

Some interesting information came to light during a conversation between a close friend of the pregnant victim and Die Burger. In a weird coincidence, the friend's husband knew du Toit and he actually spent some time at their house, although he never met the victim there. Apparently, du Toit listened to recordings made by a family member of these friends who used to be heavily involved in Satanism. It was in this manner the friend claimed that du Toit learned about demons and incubi. She went on to say that he was even afraid of the dark and had asked her husband on one occasion to walk home with him.

In the final analysis, alleged demonic possession doesn't really matter anyway. It is just one more way to deny responsibility for one's actions. It's not my fault—she was wearing sexy clothing. It's not my fault—her bedroom window was wide open. It's not my fault—the gun just went off. It's not my fault—I was high on drugs. It's not my fault—the devil made me do it.

Finding Meaning

Alison made the decision to show her face to the rest of the country and to tell her story. She didn't want to be the "Noordhoek victim" any longer. Also, rape was very much still a "hush crime" in mid-1990s South Africa, where victims often feel ashamed. Alison was fortunate in that she never felt this way, and she wanted to do something to tell other rape survivors that they didn't need to hide their experiences — that they had done nothing wrong. She wanted to start breaking down the notion that women are somehow to blame for being raped.

Since Alison, somewhat naively, believed that she would only tell her story once, she approached a national magazine called You (which also has an Afrikaans version, Huisgenoot). In this manner, she reached the masses.

Some found the courage to deal with their own experiences in
Alison's strength.

Alison had, however, fallen into a deep depression. She went to work, but did the absolute minimum. There was no joy left there.

Calamar's Rants: Allison's Miracle (4)

An anchor for Radio Algoa contacted her about appearing on his show. Seeing it as another opportunity to reach other rape survivors, she agreed. The experience was very positive, even breaking through her depression, albeit only temporarily.

Following more publicity, Alison held a press conference the next week at the Murder and Robbery Unit's building.

Later she was contacted by Carte Blanche, a journalistic program, and again she agreed to appear.

She had found some meaning after all, and she was slowly
beginning to heal.

Meanwhile, inside Alison was struggling. She was consumed by a numbness, and had lost her former sparkle. She sought for meaning in what had happened to her, but it stayed beyond her grasp. This numbness is of course a natural defensive measure, protecting the person from the painful emotions of traumatic experiences.

The Rotary Club invited Alison to speak to them. She did, and gave another couple of talks to other small groups. It felt good, forcing her to examine her experience and deal with the underlying issues.

In December 1995, she quit her job. It was difficult since her boss had been so supportive, but there was no other way.

Two weeks into the new year, Alison had to undergo some more plastic and reparative surgery. While she was recovering, more people and groups contacted her about speeches. She also received many letters, some from trauma survivors telling her of the impact her story had had on their lives. Some found the courage to deal with their own experiences in Alison's strength.

She had found some meaning after all, and she was slowly beginning to heal.

After someone asked her fee for giving a speech, Alison discovered that she had stumbled into a new career. Today she is an extremely popular and influential motivational speaker, having visited more than 30 countries. She has shared her story and her ABC system of dealing with trauma and life with countless people, including some of the survivors of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre in 2001.


Alison was still deep in her depression when she went to a friend's party one evening. She noticed Tienie, a man she had met years before through mutual friends but never got to know. She noticed him now because he seemed sad somehow. He never smiled. At some point she asked her friend what had happened to him since he had disappeared. The friend took Alison up to a window overlooking the roof. There he sat, staring into the night.

Alison looked beautiful.

Alison climbed out and sat down next to him. They began to talk, and for once the conversation did not even touch upon her trauma. She asked him why he never smiled, and he told her about his life and how things had gone wrong in recent times. It turned out that he was in a deep depression of his own.

They talked until after the party had died below them, and then went for a walk on the beach and later some coffee. Neither of them was interested in romance at the time, being preoccupied with other emotions, but they connected and over the following weeks and months a friendship grew. Something more was growing inside the friendship, but neither realized it at first.
When Alison met Tienie's mother the first time, the older woman asked her what she had done to her son, since he was smiling again.

It wasn't long after that they realized how thoroughly they had fallen in love with each other. It was all very uncomplicated and they had been completely open with each other from the start.
In June of 1996, while they were eating in a restaurant, Tienie knelt before her and asked Alison to be his wife. She did not hesitate.

On February 15, 1997, the two were married during an intimate ceremony in the picturesque town of Knysna.

Alison looked beautiful.

Believe in Miracles

In I Have Life, Alison describes a series of "miracles" which conspired to make her survival possible on that December night in 1994, when her life was changed irrevocably:

Alison managed to remain calm during her ordeal and she did not expend energy to try and fight them. Thus she had more physical resources later when she had to struggle to the road.
When du Toit began to strangle her, her bowels moved, thereby clearing her intestines. This is not an uncommon reaction to strangulation, but for Alison it prevented more serious damage during the stabbing and reduced the risk of infection dramatically.

Du Toit stabbed her more than 30 times in the abdominal area, and by his own admission, had wanted to destroy her reproductive organs. Still, he failed to seriously damage any of her vital organs and only nicked her uterus.

Had Kruger and du Toit not slashed her throat, Alison would indeed have died in that filthy clearing. But the slicing of her trachea allowed air to flow into her lungs, thereby kickstarting her breathing and leading her back to consciousness. Despite his crazed slashing, du Toit failed to sever her carotid arteries and missed her vocal cords.

Like everything else in his life, du Toit was a failure even at destruction.

Had they not thrown her shirt onto her back, Alison would have had a tremendous struggle to carry her intestines back to the road.

There was a full moon in the sky over Port Elizabeth, providing her with the necessary illumination to find her way to Marine Drive.

The night was warmer than usual, which prolonged the period she could survive being naked and exposed.

Tiaan Eilerd was a veterinary student, which meant he had some medical knowledge. He also possessed a composed presence and the perfect demeanor to help Alison to remain calm and awake and to continue fighting.

Dr Angelov was on call at the Provincial Hospital. He was a thoracic surgeon and capable of dealing with Alison's injuries.

On March 31, 2003, newspapers carried the happy revelation that Alison was pregnant. "Everyone is stunned and excited and awed and blessed," she was quoted by Independent On-Line. The pregnancy proceeded without complications, and on November 13, a perfect and healthy baby boy was delivered through caesarian section.

Alison ends her book with these two sentences:
Choose to believe in miracles. I certainly do.

Author's Note: At the end of December 2004, I Have Life had not yet been published in the United States. Still, I highly recommend that you try to obtain and read this remarkable book.

Written by: Martin Strohm
About the Author

I was born in Cape Town, South Africa. When I was 15, I read The Dark Half, by Stephen King, which unlocked a world of magic I have been enthralled by ever since. Two years later, I wrote my first short story. Although, in truth, it was a rather dismal piece, I fell in love with writing, the magic of creating characters and story lines and seeing how everything turns out. Initially, I was very much into Horror, vampires being my personal favourite. So it was only natural, when I discovered the existence of certain men, known as serial killers, that I would be fascinated by them. And unlike vampires, serial killers were real. They were human. They looked just like the rest of us. And yet they perpetrated unfathomable acts of depravity on other humans. And they enjoyed it. I wanted to know why.

Eventually I studied Psychology and Criminology through the University of South Africa, and obtained an Honours degree in Psychology in 2002. At the moment I am working on a novel about a serial killer, and have been researching these murderers, as well as the components involved in crime investigation in South Africa, more thoroughly. The art of profiling intrigues me in particular, since it is very much related to the psychological dynamics of the killers. I have even dabbled in my own theory on the development of serial killers, drawing on some of the psychological theories and research I came across during my studies.

South Africa has actually had a significant number of serial killers (second only to the USA according to some sources) and some of them have been quite prolific. Yet very little information seems to be available about these murderers, as an internet search usually quickly reveals. Some of their stories are quite fascinating. Despite the basic similarities, there are some very interesting differences in South African serial killers as opposed to those in other countries, based on the idiosyncrasies of this country.

Edited By: Calamar

Forward by Calamar


Author's Note: Unless otherwise indicated, all quotes and dialogue are from Alison's book, I Have Life.

Devils in disguise (1999). The X Factor, 75, 2092-2094.

Douglas, JE & Olshaker, M (1998). Obsession. London: Pocket Books.

Gardiner, J & Gardiner, H (1990). Satanisme: Suid-Afrika se jeug in versoeking. Cape Town, South Africa: Struikhof.

Groth, AN & Birnbaum, HJ (1980). The rapist: motivations for sexual violence. In SL McCombie (Ed.), The rape crisis intervention handbook: a guide for victim care. New York: Plenum Press.
Hare, RD (1994). Without conscience: the disturbing world of the psychopaths among us. London: Warner Books.

Hare, RD, Harpur, TJ, Hakstian, AR, Forth, AE, Hart, SD & Newman, JP (1990). The Revised Psychopathy Checklist: reliability and factor structure. Psychological Assessment, 2(3).

Hough, P (1997a). Dabbling in the occult. The X Factor, 21, 309-313.

Hough, P (1997b). The dark side of the occult. The X Factor, 22, 343-347.

Michaud, SG & Hazelwood, RR (2000). The evil that men do. New York: St. Martin's Press.

Ressler, RK & Shachtman, T (1998). I have lived in the monster. New York: St. Martin's Press.

Satanic murders (1997). The X Factor, 25, 693-697.

Satan's servants (1998). The X Factor, 43, 1196-1198.

Strangers in the night (1997). The X Factor, 25, 682-686.

The Night Stalker (2003). Real-Life Crimes, 16, 363-371.

To recount the extraordinary story of Alison, I have relied on the following sources:

Thamm, M (1998). I have life—Alison's journey. Parktown, South Africa: Penguin Books.


I have life (2004, Summer). Medi-Clinic Gesundheit, pp. 16-18.

The electronic archives of Die Burger (in particular the Eastern Cape edition) (

) and Independent On-Line (). The latter also contains articles from the following newspapers: Cape Times and Saturday Argus.


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